Oscar Wilde might have visited Chamonix in 1892 but he definitely didn't stay for the season. Ski resorts are notoriously expensive and if you're still spending Sterling you can watch your bank balance go down quicker than Jean-Claude Killy on a pair of Salomon SL Labs. So if you haven't got a rich uncle then you'd better get yourself a job. With the UK unemployment rate the highest it's been in 7 years we wondered just how difficult it is to find gainful indenture in the resort. The Mountain Echo caught up with Bianca de Salis, a few hours before her first shift at Doudoune, to find out how she did it.

TME: So what made you choose Val d'Isere?

BdS: I was going to go to Verbier but my friend from home came out here.

TME: So Val was a last minute decision then. Did you try and look for work whilst back in the UK?

BdS: I had a look online but there wasn't much available. I applied for a nannying position but it didn't work out.

TME: Was that quite off putting?

BdS: Not really – I was applying quite late and the nannying was more about my age as opposed to anything else so I thought I'd just come out here and see how it works.

TME: How daunting was it getting on the plane, knowing that you'd be coming out here with no income?

BdS: Very. I was a bit worried 'cos I'd been out here for a week and a lot of the jobs seemed to go quite quickly. But it's worked out quite well.

TME: How did you get your current job?

BdS: I met the guy from Doudoune and I'd heard it had just opened so I made sure he took my CV and it just went from there.

TME: So it's who you know, not what you know?

BdS: Yeah, definitely.

TME: Have you had any problems with the whole English / French thing?

BdS: Well I'm working for Doudoune and it's all French but that didn't stop me getting the job. I think I'll be having a problem when my first shift starts in a couple of hours time.

TME: How many CV's did you hand out in total?

BdS: Ten

TME: Only ten – you didn't try very hard!

BdS: Well, maybe twelve. I only gave it to people who I thought could actually help me rather than just handing it out in every shop in town.

TME: More importantly, how many times have you been up the mountain?

BdS: None yet, but that'll change in a couple of weeks – I've got some friends coming out for a holiday and I'll have some money by then.

TME: So what's the one piece of advice you could give to any other ski-resort job-seekers?

BdS: It's who you know not what you know, so meet as many people as you can!

Working in the mountains

The famed French 35-hour week officially ended last July but any seasoned saisonnaire will tell you it hasn't existed in the mountains for a lot longer. The EU working time directive specifies that you can't work more than 48 hours a week, however this is calculated over a 12 month period so unless you're planning on staying throughout the summer then I wouldn't go grumbling to the bureaucrats in Brussels just yet.

Où est le plume de ma tante? You mum might have framed that G.C.S.E. certificate and proudly hung it on the wall back home but before you sign anything in French make sure you get it read through by a French person. Magritte would be turning in his grave if he knew what “Ceci n'est pas une pipe” can mean in French slang these days, particularly in Pigalle Place.

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for Entrepreneur." It pains me to admit that George W Bush didn't actually say the now infamous line but if he did he might have had a point if he was talking about the mountains. If you really can't find a job then think of something to do and see if it's worth anything to anyone. Whether it's making packed lunches, cleaning chalets, personal shopping or even just shovelling snow you might find it brings home enough bacon to hang around that bit longer. If you want some advice then call in to VSpot and talk to Ash or, better yet, buy one of his pies. If you're really stuck for something to do then you could even become a Mountain Echo freelancer, although the emphasis rests firmly on the "free".

Val D'Isère has the lowest unemployment rate in the whole of France. But that's only because anyone with the means or misfortune to be unemployed has a much simpler job title: ski bum. Wilde would've been proud.

Mum, Tony and Dasy.  I still remember the shit birthday card I made my mum when I was six years old at primary school.  Hopefully I've inherited enough from my father that I could do a fuck of a lot better these days.  All my love, L.

Credit's Crunching and Times are Hard so one of the first things to get curtailed on the family's annual ski trip is the chalet totty's tip.  So here's ten top tips to ensure that you can still get a top tip at the end of a hard week's work.

For the guys it's an uphill struggle 'cos you're blessed with a Y chromosome.  What you lack in the chest department you have to make up for with charisma.  This will be hard for some of you but stick with me and you should all end with E cup wallets by the end of it.

1. Don't be a DJ.  I know it's difficult but resist the urge to foist your eclectic musical tastes upon your guests.  By which I mean: do not play your iPod in the lounge at full volume whilst making dinner - Prodigy/Puccini and pasta do not necessarily mix.

2. Who's the daddy?  It ain't you - it's the guy with three kids who's looking stressed but holding the money-clip.  Do everything in your power to make his life less difficult than the 4th circle of hell that he's found himself in.  Find out those fun family things that don't cost a fortune but do take some of the hassle out of the trip (e.g. Picnic on the Piste).

3. Flirt.  Not a lot, and not with him.  This is the difficult bit but you need to provide fun without fornication.  Wait till he's out of the picture and just ask some polite questions and make some good suggestions - that doesn't mean inviting her back to your bunk-bed but recommending a good masseur/masseuse for a bit of après piste pamperage (and make sure you try it yourself first).

4. Be the King of Cool.  This may conjure up images of dancing round the pole in the Danois with a crowd of adoring female fans but for him it's probably best to suggest a quiet cocktail in the Blizzard or Piere, Paul, Jaques.

For the girls it may seem like you've got an easy ride but you've gotta be careful that your wonderbra doesn't make someone's eyes wander too far.  That said:

5. Wear make up.  Wear lots but wear it well: Charlize Theron in Monster - 'nuff said.  And don't dress like an extra from Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

6. Cook like Nigella Lawson.  They say the fastest way to a man's heart is through the breast pocket with a bread knife.  Hopefully his wallet is so full of euros that you'll only make a small dent in a couple of €50 notes.  The second fastest way is through his stomach so make sure your guests are lauding your culinary skills by the end of the week.  (And occasionally sucking your finger like Nigella won't hurt a bit.)

7. Flirt.  But don't let her see you.  Pretend you don't have a boyfriend and pretend it's because you're waiting for Mr. Right as opposed to Mr. Right-Now - we all know you signed away your virtue the moment you signed up as a seasonnaire.

8. Act like Cinderella.  She didn't get to go to the ball, and neither did you: let them know how hard you've worked all week and how little skiing you've been able to do.  Sympathise with how hard it must be to bring a family on holiday and you'll end up with a Fairy Godmother, a Prince Charming and a hefty tip with which you can buy those fancy Manolo slippers, or at least a couple of Freestylers.

In general it all boils down to two simple rules, and I'm not talking about Matthew 22:36-40.

9. Know the mountain.  Nothing is more important in a ski resort than knowing where to ski and when to ski it.  Ask questions about their ability and use your knowledge of the pistes to suggest the best places for your guests to go.  The best time to do this is breakfast so try not to be too hungover; and if you are then make sure you can fake it or phone a friend for advice.

10. Don't fall at the final fence.  'Twas the night before transfer day and you've just cooked them their Last Supper.  Now is not the time to go out and get crucified in Dick's Tea Bar.  There's a big risk that you may run into one of your guests at 3 a.m. when you're likely to either say something mildly inappropriate or possibly do something/someone you'll really regret and which is certain to end up in next week's The Insider.  Go to the Graal instead and you might not get caught.